Sunday, April 12, 2009

Back from Silence

How exactly does one return to the talking world after spending 2 full months in silence at a meditation retreat? Well, you just open your mouth and start talking again. Just like 2 months ago, to everyone's amazement, I simply shut it. For those of you who had your doubts, yes, I really was quiet for 2 whole months. Not only not talking, but trying to move quietly. For me, the moving quietly was harder than just not talking. I realize that I walk loudly and with greater presence than is necessary, and with a lot of thrashing about. So I did settle down as best as I could and tried to be more mindful of my movements.

But the reward of all this was how quickly I was able to move into the present moment. Within a couple of days, even my thoughts were about things that relative to that 24 hour period. Like the weather and when it was my turn to cook dinner, and even when I had my last shower. I stopped thinking about Richard and Adrian, trusting that they would carry on as planned until I saw them again. Thoughts about work took a bit longer to stop flowing, but when they did, there was even greater peace and restfulness. Not that thinking about work and my family are troublesome necessarily, just that when I stopped thinking about these main areas of my life, I found a lot of spaciousness.

Time to look out the window and enjoy watching the deer and elks munching on the grasses out front the lodge. Or time to sit with no words or thoughts popping up to disrupt the peace. Just sit. I can't remember when I've last done that. And for hours on end.

So back in Toronto, I'm spending time with my family again. I'm just in time to appreciate the Easter long weekend with everyone home, including Josh and Jeremy (my 18 and 20 year old step-sons). We took our first family snapshopt in close to 4 years. I'll try to upload it soon. I'm trying to keep that sense of spaciousness with me. Not so much computer work!!! And with that, I'm going to sign off and play a board game (Careers) with Adrian.

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